10 funny greeting cards for grumpy people

Ever wondered what is the perfect card to send to the grumpiest person you know? Well we’ve taken it upon ourselves to collate 10 of the very most cynical, dry and sarcastic greeting cards - perfect for sending to all the moodiest people in your life. 

Enter: Deadpan. The brilliantly blunt greeting card range that we launched earlier this year. The dry humour captions and general lack of enthusiasm are perfectly suited to grumpy people, whatever the occasion.

Click here to shop the full range, or read on to discover our picks for the 10 best greeting cards for grumpy people...


1. Several Years Birthday Card

"You have been a live for several years"...well, it's not wrong, is it? This dry humour card is great for all the grumpy old farts out there - a not-so-subtle reminder at just how ancient they really are. 


2. Romantic Marketing Event Valentine Card

Does your partner shudder at the thought of celebrating the capitalism of February 14th? Sounds like the ideal opportunity to send them our new Deadpan Valentine's card - with a caption reading "Here's to the most romantic marketing event of the year", it's sure to force a smile out of them!


3. Astonishingly, I have remembered our Anniversary card

Let's be honest, we've all forgotten an anniversary or two over the years - do yourself a favour to avoid said grumpy recipient getting even more grumpy, by nabbing this super romantic and sentimental design...ha!


4. Ongoing Existence Birthday Card

Another great birthday option for the grumpiest among us - "congratulations on your ongoing existence" says it all, really.


5. Cancel Everything New Baby Card

A very un-cheery new baby card indeed. Perfect!


6. Nice Face Valentine Card

Another particularly romantic card for valentine's, anniversaries - or any occasion to tell your grumpy other half that you think that they...have a nice face.


7. Over 79 Birthday Card

From 18 to 80, we've got a sarcastic humour card for loads of poignant ages, but this 80th birthday card is particularly popular - turns out you're all just as dry humoured as us. See all the ages here


8. Because of Your Dog Friendship Card

For the grumpy dog owners, or the grumpy friends of dog owners, this one works a treat..."We're only friends because of your dog"


9. Without you, I would not exist card

The signature dry wit of this caption is ideal for Mother's Day, Father's Day or parents' birthdays. Without them, you really wouldn't exist, so we raise a good point.


10. Draining Away Birthday Card

And finally, add a little existential dread to their birthday with this cheerful number - "I can't believe how quickly our lives are draining away."


There's plenty more where that came from...if you're a fan of these, you've got to check out the rest of the collection.

Click here to browse the full Deadpan range, or shop these picks below.


Monday , 16 October 2023